Being in meetings where the Word of God is being taught should change us. I realized for myself that we do not get revelation or change unless we purpose to listen and get something out of it. This week is our annual conference. It dawned on me to sincerely press in and ask the Lord to change me and to reveal things that have been hidden to me, my blindspots.
So this morning he showed me some things. It wasn’t pretty, but together He & I can make a difference. My job is to submit to HIm and be thankful for what He reveals to me about me. It’s nice to know the true reason why I react the wrong way to people some times. It is something I teach, but in some areas I haven’t seen what I teach about me.
I have been rude to some people. I kept telling myself that it was something I couldn’t have victory over & I justified it. I blamed it on the people I was being rude to and others. I did not realize I was taking up an offense for someone else, or that the true root of my unkindness was the failures in my own life. You see, when it looks like people I have invested my life into are making wrong decisions, I blame me. I think to myself that I could have done more, or perhaps I focus on the mistakes I might have made with a person. The more I focus on what I could’ve, should’ve done, the more I spiral downward and my actions, or should I say attitudes do not exemplify Christ. That’s when I give people dirty looks or they get the cold shoulder from me or I keep them at arm’s length…..I justify myself in doing so, but I am completely wrong.
The bottom line is that I am not believing the Word of God about myself. I am allowing what I think my failures are to dictate my feelings. The truth it is that it was a blindspot. I did not realize it. I walk around as if I am this wonderful person when inside I am not. I can be kind to some, but not all. God has called me to be kind to all.
Oftentimes, we blame ourselves when something goes wrong in someone else’s life. Their failure becomes our failure. It affects our lives and how we react to others. Examples of this might be: blaming yourself for your parent’s divorce, for a spouse’s unfaithfulness, for your children’s wrong choices, for a person you have been ministering to wrong choices….Whether it’s something we have done wrong, or something someone else has done and we want to blame ourselves for it, we have to choose to believe what God says about who we are in Christ.
So…if you are having a difficult time with your attitude, with being rude to someone, being unkind for any reason, examine yourself. See if you are in faith about you. Realize you are holy & unblameable in God’s sight. Repent, change your thinking. It will take time and discipline, but it will payoff. We react the way we do because of what we think about ourselves.
I am on the road to recovery in this area of my life. My prayer is that I continually move forward and that you will too.