At the beginning of 2014 I began meditating on God’s love. I realized I do not believe what I say I do. We sing songs from the bible that say, “God’s love is better than life” or “A day in your courts is better than a thousand anywhere else.” If I truly believed this, then I wouldn’t get so upset when things don’t go my way in a relationship, because my relationship with God would mean more to me than anything. It’s been quite eye-opening. I am growing in the knowledge of God’s love for me and know I will throughout eternity because God is love and He is eternal. I’ve come to a new place of revelation that was eye-opening.
Over the years I have allowed the rejections I experienced from being in the ministry to get to me. It paralyzed me in many ways. I would fight with myself about reaching out to others because I did not want to experience another rejection. I knew the right things to tell myself, but wasn’t believing it in my heart. This was causing a downward spiral that was getting the best of me. I knew the right things to do, but wasn’t acting on it the way I should. It takes a lot of diligence to move forward when you want to go upstream, but the river is taking you downstream.
Last year I did Dr. Caroline Leaf’s brain detox. It gave me the practical tools to do what I needed to. Each day as I did the program, the Holy Spirit would minister different scriptures to me to help bring healing. Scriptures concerning God’s love for me flooded my mind. I began to meditate on them. Some of them were scriptures I pondered on years ago, but wasn’t using them the way I did in the past. The truth of God’s word really does set us free. Throughout the year I continued to meditate on these scriptures.
Although I may experience some unpleasantness in relationships, knowing God’s love for me in a deeper way has helped me tremendously. I feel like I have new life and I do because he gives us life abundantly!!! God’s mercies are new every morning! Great is his faithfulness!